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Eaglestrike117

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Eaglestrike117
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18786
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19192) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (5897)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9665) - you deserved it (19658)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (26337) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16712) - you deserved it (1580)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15045) - you deserved it (5320)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (14056)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (2100)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you deserved it (32891)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (5680)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5577) - you deserved it (16071)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (4961)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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