Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eaglestrike117

Search for a member

Eaglestrike117

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23000
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>thebosslikeaboss</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:47am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:14am<b>AMERICAN_MADE</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:15pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:48pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:19am<b>theonly1foryou</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>spartan88eric</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:34pm<b>star14394</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:25pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:42am<b>hogman500</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:15am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:34pm<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:04pm

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66003) - you deserved it (12677)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38815) - you deserved it (17499)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (10881)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (5036)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (6750)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42031) - you deserved it (15733)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45978) - you deserved it (21028)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10868) - you deserved it (33589)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: