Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eaglestrike117

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

Eaglestrike117

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20031
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>spartan88eric</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:34pm<b>star14394</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:25pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:42am<b>hogman500</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:15am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:34pm<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:04pm<b>the_glitcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:07pm<b>Mindy72387</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:12pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:36pm<b>burgerkingaka</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:24pm<b>littlexlune</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:21pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:36am

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (53910)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (49796)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56350) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58393) - you deserved it (12233)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (54165)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50428) - you deserved it (4172)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58523) - you deserved it (3630)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54915) - you deserved it (7742)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58743) - you deserved it (10837)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (8984)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (58612)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78131) - you deserved it (7086)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: