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Eaglestrike117

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Eaglestrike117

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20610
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:19am<b>theonly1foryou</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:54am<b>Chris_Nuwen</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>OrangeDoge25</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>spartan88eric</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:18pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:34pm<b>star14394</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:25pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:42am<b>hogman500</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:15am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:34pm<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:04pm<b>the_glitcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:07pm<b>Mindy72387</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:12pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:36pm<b>burgerkingaka</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:24pm

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (53985)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49091) - you deserved it (3484)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (50506)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57198) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58502) - you deserved it (12247)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (54862)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (4232)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59158) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55040) - you deserved it (7750)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58846) - you deserved it (10850)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (8997)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (59106)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (3619)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79457) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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