About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.
Eaglestrike117's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs
by ew / 08/11/2013 at 9:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
by Barking Mad / 08/04/2013 at 7:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by 27161697 / 07/22/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
by MarkQ95 / 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…