Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Eaglestrike117

Offline (the 06/20/2014 at 4:58am) | Search for a member

Eaglestrike117

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19568
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Eaglestrike117 : I've read every single FML.

Eaglestrike117's page activity

Visits<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:10pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:34pm<b>star14394</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:25pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:42am<b>hogman500</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:15am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:34pm<b>infinitegrace</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:04pm<b>the_glitcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:07pm<b>Mindy72387</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:12pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:36pm<b>burgerkingaka</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 7:24pm<b>littlexlune</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:21pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:36am<b>K410</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:40am<b>ScenicSubterfuge</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:59pm<b>AMN1D</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:41pm

Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Eaglestrike117's badges

Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (53779)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48974) - you deserved it (3479)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (49750)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56258) - you deserved it (6666)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58238) - you deserved it (12178)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (54085)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50369) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58468) - you deserved it (3624)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54454) - you deserved it (7691)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58609) - you deserved it (10825)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (8974)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18655) - you deserved it (58160)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77884) - you deserved it (7074)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46351) - you deserved it (4708)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: