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Eaglestrike117

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Eaglestrike117
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18807
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Eaglestrike117's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

#7458972
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9120) - you deserved it (26980)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

#7420150
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (37599)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (3442)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6846) - you deserved it (63448)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9162) - you deserved it (18502)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8518) - you deserved it (21879)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6901) - you deserved it (59885)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9552) - you deserved it (74507)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54576) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (3512)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49780) - you deserved it (12919)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (27878)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore



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