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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Eaglestrike117

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Eaglestrike117
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16119
  • Number of comments : 166
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Eaglestrike117's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Eaglestrike117's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (747)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (2744) - you deserved it (6401)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (951)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (5379) - you deserved it (7213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (6641) - you deserved it (1806)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (10678) - you deserved it (664)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (9722) - you deserved it (1707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (6422) - you deserved it (1102)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (3616)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

#18072283 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (831)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm - kids - by mew - Canada

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6667) - you deserved it (4692) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (13053) - you deserved it (32861)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (12730) - you deserved it (31645) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (5123) - you deserved it (8243)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)