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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
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You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (16369)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (10861)
On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (7839)
On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (38496)
On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (7184)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47552) - you deserved it (4138)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48664) - you deserved it (6868)
On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (65847)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (7809)
On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (14934)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55228) - you deserved it (10105)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33572) - you deserved it (7619)
On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (5216)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (7358)
On 04/08/2013 at 5:17am - intimacy - by dancekat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (4240)
On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -
Monday 17 June 2013
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