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About EMTchic : -My name is Mandi. I'm 17. I'm going to the Paul Mitchell School of Cosmetology for my degree in cosmetology.
-I am engaged to the most amazing guy ever
-I LOVE PANDAS!
-I love having pets! I currently have a Shih-Tzu/Lhasa-Apsa mix (her name is Ash) and a tabby kitten (her name is Tigger).
-I love Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings
-I love the trilogy Matched, Crossed, and Reached by Ally Condie
-My favourite band is Escape The Fate =)
-I try to be funny but some people find me overly sarcastic and annoying. If you find that you don't like how I comment, then feel free to thumb me down.
-I am a bit of a grammar nazi, and I am big on respect. Please don't take it the wrong way if I ever jump on you about something, some people/stuff just get(s) on my nerves.
-Perdix, FMLshark and DocBastard are my FML idols.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014