EMTchic

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EMTchic

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 52001
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About EMTchic : -My name is Mandi. I'm 17. I'm going to the Paul Mitchell School of Cosmetology for my degree in cosmetology.
-I am engaged to the most amazing guy ever
-I LOVE PANDAS!
-I love having pets! I currently have a Shih-Tzu/Lhasa-Apsa mix (her name is Ash) and a tabby kitten (her name is Tigger).
-I love Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings
-I love the trilogy Matched, Crossed, and Reached by Ally Condie
-My favourite band is Escape The Fate =)
-I try to be funny but some people find me overly sarcastic and annoying. If you find that you don't like how I comment, then feel free to thumb me down.
-I am a bit of a grammar nazi, and I am big on respect. Please don't take it the wrong way if I ever jump on you about something, some people/stuff just get(s) on my nerves.
-Perdix, FMLshark and DocBastard are my FML idols.

EMTchic's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 7:35pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:17pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 12:48am<b>EastCoastLez</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:07pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:39am<b>optimusic</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:49pm<b>Mikelbair1</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 11:15am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:04pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:22am<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:06am<b>am1717</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:21pm<b>bananajoe666</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:55am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:23am<b>SamW2469</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:58pm<b>Altairae</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:49pm<b>jill97</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:23am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:28am

Fucked!<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 4:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:22pm<b>SamW2469</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:56pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:42pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:04pm

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EMTchic's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

by nomomsonfacebook / 06/23/2013 at 8:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

by kittyfiddlernono / 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm / Bulgaria (Pernik) / Love

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

by welp, time to become an assassin / 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

by aimee_alexis / 06/20/2013 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy