[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

DutchWaiterGuy

Search for a member

DutchWaiterGuy
  • Town/Country : Amsterdam, Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DutchWaiterGuy's last visitors

FreezeA83

DutchWaiterGuy's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DutchWaiterGuy's badges

DutchWaiterGuy's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (18509) - you deserved it (4157)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (15524) - you deserved it (2090)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (6058)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (9133) - you deserved it (21198)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969 (542)

I agree, your life sucks (85372) - you deserved it (4082)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (13517) - you deserved it (4593)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (2326)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (5097)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (54933) - you deserved it (4761)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (16804) - you deserved it (4871)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (45849)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

#13781812 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (6460) - you deserved it (15984)

On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)