About Dusk_Shores : Wait, were you expecting a grammatically incorrect "about me"? Sorry, I use Google Chrome. Comes with Spell-check.
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Dusk_Shores's favorite FMLs
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by Blizzards / 07/14/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (North Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Brax / 05/30/2012 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
by corn / 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Work
by Username / 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched… Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking… Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at…