About Durf : you tell me.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193705) - you deserved it (21251)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471032) - you deserved it (584885)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (119666) - you deserved it (8425)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (48572)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (6417)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56028) - you deserved it (19894)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (11243)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28087) - you deserved it (10688)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11822) - you deserved it (23592)
On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (8440)
On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (7857)
On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5129) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5129) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7849) - you deserved it (34830)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Monday 17 June 2013
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