bitches get vicious.
Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you totally deserved it (2615)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you totally deserved it (89919)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her to the movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep. Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom then pointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw a full bag of popcorn at her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74966) - you totally deserved it (2373)
On 06/07/2009 at 1:35am - love - by Reject3d (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (70326) - you totally deserved it (4233)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - money - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46372) - you totally deserved it (3293)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14151) - you totally deserved it (26596)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you totally deserved it (2585)
On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)
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