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Duoceros

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Duoceros

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Duoceros : doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom

Duoceros's page activity

Visits<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:13pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 8:59pm<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:10pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 8:53pm<b>StefanKa</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 7:36pm

Duoceros's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Duoceros's badges

Duoceros's favorite FMLs

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (4171)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15085) - you deserved it (52630)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

#362
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (4802)

On 11/22/2008 at 2:02am - misc - by Goatkvlt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (2494)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

#352
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (9083)

On 11/21/2008 at 12:40am - misc - by lpilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (14180)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (4403)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (8191)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

#331
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (8291)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:54am - love - by zevil - Peru (Lima)

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

#329
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (18802)

On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

#326
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (8201)

On 11/18/2008 at 2:36am - love - by Otherguy - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (21936)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

#324
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (1761)

On 11/17/2008 at 11:42pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version



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