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Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68851) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (1270)
On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22374) - you deserved it (2523)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (1879)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (1295)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15583) - you deserved it (5016)
On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19157) - you deserved it (10417)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18288) - you deserved it (6789)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:44pm - love - by W45T3D_Y0UTH (woman) - Canada
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (12959)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (2771)
On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7980) - you deserved it (26500)
On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (16705)
On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
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