DudeBTM

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DudeBTM

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DudeBTM : Sarcasm is my best friend.

DudeBTM's page activity

Visits<b>jelrid</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:56pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:45pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:31am<b>DevilsTemptation</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 4:05am<b>Insane_Tea</b> - the 11/28/2011 at 9:57pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:44pm

Fucked!<b>jelrid</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:56am

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DudeBTM's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

by rejecteddd / 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work