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DudeBTM

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DudeBTM
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DudeBTM : Sarcasm is my best friend.

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DudeBTM's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (6104)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (31200)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (46632)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

#16974687
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (3574)

On 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by rejecteddd (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (4472)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49227) - you deserved it (3594)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

#3451487
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58611) - you deserved it (157042)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103
563 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (127974)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9088) - you deserved it (133633)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013
773 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53434) - you deserved it (418959)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
860 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55622) - you deserved it (324545)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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