About DudeBTM : Sarcasm is my best friend.
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DudeBTM's favorite FMLs
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by rejecteddd / 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work
- Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had… Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb… Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat…