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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (6856)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (10414)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46104) - you deserved it (3164)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59201) - you deserved it (3595)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (17883)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53735) - you deserved it (3671)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55972) - you deserved it (4778)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you deserved it (5329)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (41230)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40030) - you deserved it (6520)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45806) - you deserved it (3064)
On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (2366)
On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (3290)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (10436)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57794) - you deserved it (3130)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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