About Dthnte : I love science, I'm a prospective medical student. I also like cats a lot.
Dthnte's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Dthnte's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Blaphlafagus / 10/31/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 12:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm / United States / Kids
by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by :( / 06/06/2013 at 7:37pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
by WTFruits / 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn… Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and… Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and…