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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (1727)
On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14801) - you deserved it (1193)
On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (1537)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15424) - you deserved it (1732)
On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12699) - you deserved it (3467)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (1782)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (1983)
On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (2164)
On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (4577)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62528) - you deserved it (6324)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (1467)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (1117)
On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)
Friday 24 May 2013
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