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Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (1906)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (3121)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44709) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2687)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (9703)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (3161)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (1687)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (2113)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (897)
On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (1746)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (2540)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (5208)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (1386)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15191) - you deserved it (6210)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Friday 24 May 2013
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