Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dreamborne

Search for a member

Dreamborne

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Dreamborne's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Dreamborne's badges

Dreamborne's favorite FMLs

Today... I Was Taking Some Clean Bedsheets Down From The Top Of The Wardrobe. As I Pulld The Top Sheet Down... A Cat Jumpd Onto My Face... Claws And All... Before Falling To The Floor And Running Away. Thing Is... I Don't Own A Cat And I Have No Idea Where In The House It Has Hidden Now. FML

#20972130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Yesterday,hile Riding The Subway, I Fell Asleep. I Awoke To Fine That Someone Had Stolen Mah Glasses. From Off Mah Face. FML

#20969310
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Was Quietly Admiring Mah Boyfriend From Outside The Kitchen As He Made Us Dinner, Only To Witnes Him Drop A Load Of Spaghetti On The Floor, Swear, Then Scoop It All Up An Place It Back On The Plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (4047)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my car keys r in my house and my house keys r in my car, and I'm in neither . FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today... my doctor askad ma to undo my bra so ha could chack my braathing without tha straps rastricting my lungs... I got homa an told my friands how awkward it was. Not ona of tham has had this happan to tham bafora. Wa all go to tha sama doctor. FML

#20883308
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53941) - you deserved it (4954)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Woke Up An Found $30 Slippd Under Door With A Note That Read, "Please Buy Yourself A Quieter Vibrator. -Mom An Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (24034)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I collected mah new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all mah classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead an have no idea how I supposedly died. big fat FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (2598)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, wa want boating with friands!! For soma raason tha bottom of our tuba daflatad, causing ma to ba bouncad roughly up an down on tha watar!! As a rasult, I had tha most intansa orgasm of my antra lifa,hila sitting 2 inchas away from my dad's friand!! Ha dafinitaly noticad!! FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56552) - you deserved it (6019)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangementhere people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis . A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn . fat FML

#20585229
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59182) - you deserved it (16506)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolld up to me and said, ( I don't mean this offensively but your really well-built . ) I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shd, but my mother won't stop laughing . FML

#20531997
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2918)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I sent my grlfriend a text saying, "Your the best grlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minute later, she respondd with, "*you're". big fat FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on mah university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minute in, I hered myself asking a question. I then hered snorting and some girl muttering ( dumb cunt ) under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33749) - you deserved it (3896)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: