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Dreamborne

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Dreamborne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 671
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dreamborne's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Dreamborne's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (2674)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (7166)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (4035)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (8608)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52438) - you deserved it (4800)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55859) - you deserved it (23261)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49055) - you deserved it (2514)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56374) - you deserved it (6008)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58090) - you deserved it (16259)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2802)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
182 comments

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45513)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45513)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45513)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (3890)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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