Drakon

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Drakon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 June 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9102
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Drakon's page activity

Visits<b>tdakota0408</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:07pm<b>LissaLovesCastle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>jill97</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:10pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:46am<b>logan_3416</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:07pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:40pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:14am<b>groovy579</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:05pm<b>dman255</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:00pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:31pm<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:50pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:57pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 7:34pm<b>Wimoweh</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 11:02pm<b>kailamatoso</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 7:12am

Drakon's FML badges

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Drakon's favorite FMLs

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

by apparentlyugly / 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

by Ariel / 06/02/2009 at 8:19am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

by gabormelchior / 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 11:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML

by SuperBunny / 04/20/2009 at 3:59am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.