Drakon

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Drakon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 June 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9550
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Drakon's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 1:10pm<b>tdakota0408</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:07pm<b>LissaLovesCastle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>jill97</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:10pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:46am<b>logan_3416</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:07pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:11pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:14am<b>groovy579</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>procrastinate12</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:05pm<b>dman255</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 11:00pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:31pm<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:50pm<b>phinsa123</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:57pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 7:34pm<b>Wimoweh</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 11:02pm<b>kailamatoso</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 7:12am

Drakon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Drakon's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

by Indoraptor / 11/14/2009 at 7:59am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

by vanessa_d15 / 11/09/2009 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

by stixx / 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

by UnluckyArtist / 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

by Morrowindwhore / 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

by Girafarig / 07/31/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous