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Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you totally deserved it (4574)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4549) - you totally deserved it (20091)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14702) - you totally deserved it (6967)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5677) - you totally deserved it (19630)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you totally deserved it (1736)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16786) - you totally deserved it (2057)
On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain “obscene or offensive language or phrases”. What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you totally deserved it (1251)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you totally deserved it (18315)
On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you totally deserved it (1286)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you totally deserved it (3712)
On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6226) - you totally deserved it (38911)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you totally deserved it (4285)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9274) - you totally deserved it (20612)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you totally deserved it (1810)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you totally deserved it (3660)
On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)
