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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Dragonmouth

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Dragonmouth
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13492
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Dragonmouth's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (3924)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (3929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (6968) - you deserved it (845)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (3289)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (9328)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

#14021682 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (4447)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by katelouise2102 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (1986)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

#6213583 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (3455)

On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (36197) - you deserved it (10499)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (38350)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read an incoming message in my wifes phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

#4506160 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (4075)

On 08/13/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by rick (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

#4389779 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (8172) - you deserved it (47091)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

#2531202 (627)

I agree, your life sucks (96432) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (30223)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (101234) - you deserved it (14003)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)