About DrJesse : I'm a bitter recovering drug addict and I'm dead inside so I use FML to laugh at other people's misery. This is not a joke.
DrJesse's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
DrJesse's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 9:49am / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
by Fonz / 01/26/2010 at 9:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays
- Today, I decided it would be sexy and spice up my marriage to give myself a Brazilian wax. Although… Today, I got a call from my manager asking me if I realized I had a shift that started half an hour… Today, I decided to ask my crush out. I ride horses at the same barn as her and I asked her while…