About DrJesse : I'm a bitter recovering drug addict and I'm dead inside so I use FML to laugh at other people's misery. This is not a joke.
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DrJesse's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 9:49am / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
by Fonz / 01/26/2010 at 9:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…