DrJesse

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DrJesse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1649
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About DrJesse : I'm a bitter recovering drug addict and I'm dead inside so I use FML to laugh at other people's misery. This is not a joke.

DrJesse's page activity

Visits<b>HoboRain</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:09pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:51pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:24pm<b>bocagrove</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:27pm<b>mybabymaduece</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:33pm<b>TH_Insomniak</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Heidrun</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:52pm<b>facelick</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:50pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:05am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:55pm<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:29pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:37am<b>bewer415</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:41am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:49am<b>jojof</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:38am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:19am<b>spencer314314</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:51pm

DrJesse's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of DrJesse's badges

DrJesse's favorite FMLs

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 9:49am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

by Fonz / 01/26/2010 at 9:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays