DrDoog

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DrDoog

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2237
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DrDoog's page activity

Visits<b>qwerty123456789</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 11:00pm

DrDoog's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DrDoog's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

by EPICfml. / 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

by oh_mylanta / 03/02/2009 at 4:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

by sprocket / 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm / Hong Kong / Love

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

by bojangles / 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

by facepalm / 02/27/2009 at 3:39am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

by lifesux17 / 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

by belladonna / 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it stuck mid-floor. Being supportive, I went to hug her and tell her we'll be OK. Today I also learned that my girlfriend is deathly claustrophobic and her predominant reaction is to vomit. In this case, all over me. We were stuck for 2 hours. FML

by goingup? / 02/25/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy