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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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DrAwesome

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DrAwesome
  • Town/Country : Stockton, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 9132
  • Number of comments : 263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About DrAwesome : Hey. I'm Tim. I'm an adult. Kind of. Play the guitar, make jokes, attend college, generally dick around and do nothing. It's a sweet life.

Skype - sirbombalot
Twitter - @Sirbombalot
Tumblr - sirbombalot
(See the pattern?)

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DrAwesome's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (5660)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

#14283967 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (1859)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

#6194696 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (4811)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

#5877421 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (3373)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by hairdresser (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (60666) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (8320)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

#5413899 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (2528)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (10320)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

#4751132 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (9951)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (98519)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (50952) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (19554)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML

#3994466 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (5762)

On 07/24/2009 at 12:18am - love - by masterofblues (man) - United States (Michigan)