About Doxy : Why hello there stranger.
-In my next life I wanna be a jellyfish
-Or a penguin, either is cool
-I'm a procrastinator
-I like to find complicated or fancy words to use in essays and conversations to show off and annoy people
-I love History
-I love shoving historical facts in people's faces when they annoy me or are being stupid
- I can be a real diva sometimes
-I can be a real drama queen sometimes
-I like grammar nazis
-I'm lazy
-That's why I won't complete this profile
Feel free to message me if you want
Bye :)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28385)
Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (2863)
On 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25142) - you deserved it (3569)
On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (3174)
On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (3296)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (3296)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (5870)
On 01/04/2012 at 10:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (20214)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (5818)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (10236)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (1657)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (2818)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (24030)
On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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