About Doxy : Currently living in my fortress of solitude err I mean awkwardness with penguins and Superman.
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Doxy's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
by fmlisthebomb / 03/01/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Noname / 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
by justanaccount / 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm / Spain (Madrid) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by sadgf / 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
by Rich / 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
by Byron fiddles / 02/24/2009 at 6:57am / Hungary (Budapest) / Intimacy
by starbird / 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
by lifesucks4me / 02/23/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…