About Doxy : Why hello there stranger.
-In my next life I wanna be a jellyfish
-Or a penguin, either is cool
-I'm a procrastinator
-I like to find complicated or fancy words to use in essays and conversations to show off and annoy people
-I love History
-I love shoving historical facts in people's faces when they annoy me or are being stupid
- I can be a real diva sometimes
-I can be a real drama queen sometimes
-I like grammar nazis
-I'm lazy
-That's why I won't complete this profile
Feel free to message me if you want
Bye :)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (5593)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (6451)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (6460)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74756) - you deserved it (4352)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (9314)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (3443)
On 07/16/2012 at 4:12am - health - by goincrazy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20685) - you deserved it (2961)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13935) - you deserved it (4988)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14787) - you deserved it (2374)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (9080)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (3376)
On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (7340)
Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (2075)
On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (4375)
On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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