Dojan

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Offline (the 06/08/2015 at 9:03pm)

Dojan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Nyköping, Sweden
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7707
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dojan : I'm not actually a dog, I just pretend to be one.

Dojan's page activity

Visits<b>fmlforreal2015</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 11:17am<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:18pm<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 10:01pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:03pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 9:46am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:25am<b>Errrka_Whale</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:33pm<b>trenteg11</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:03pm<b>missblue97</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:00am<b>benjamins39</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:03pm<b>xSaru</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:07pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>packrat</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:21am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:58am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:48am<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Roflcopter61199</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:02pm

Dojan's FML badges

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Dojan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

by oops... / 09/12/2014 at 1:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

by Etrius / 08/17/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm / New Zealand / Kids

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.