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Dojan

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 5:13am) | Search for a member

Dojan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2592
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dojan : I'm not actually a dog, I just pretend to be one.

Dojan's page activity

Visits<b>benjamins39</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:03pm<b>xSaru</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:07pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>packrat</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:21am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:58am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:48am<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Roflcopter61199</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:23pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 10:34pm<b>ged</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 8:10pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 3:24am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 2:27am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 4:06pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 2:04pm<b>LindseyLunatic</b> - the 12/14/2011 at 12:22pm

Dojan's FML badges

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Dojan's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3296)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (6702)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (6306)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (23397)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (11479)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46167) - you deserved it (3757)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (3807)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52338) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58939) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48539) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (12536)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51946) - you deserved it (3962)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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