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Dojan

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Dojan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2299
  • Number of comments : 87
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Dojan : I'm not actually a dog, I just pretend to be one.

Dojan's page activity

Visits<b>benjamins39</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:03pm<b>xSaru</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:07pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>packrat</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:21am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:58am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:48am<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Roflcopter61199</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:02pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:23pm<b>iLynz</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 10:34pm<b>ged</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 8:10pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 3:24am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 2:27am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 4:06pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 2:04pm<b>LindseyLunatic</b> - the 12/14/2011 at 12:22pm

Dojan's FML badges

50 quality responses

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Dojan's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32325) - you deserved it (10476)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45177) - you deserved it (3742)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40805) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51869) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58787) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48268) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (12529)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51908) - you deserved it (3961)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (6639)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39249) - you deserved it (4360)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54983) - you deserved it (7010)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (44778)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (4307)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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