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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3539) - you deserved it (13123)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Drewzter (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12748) - you deserved it (3760)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (6737)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (6737)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (2241)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (2241)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really hot guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it so I swiped it quickly ten times before getting frustrated and saying "your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3584) - you deserved it (28262)
On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (26402)
On 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (3985)
On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (3322)
On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2490)
On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5801) - you deserved it (29601)
On 10/05/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by backwardsinlife - United States (Georgia)
Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (3785)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61157) - you deserved it (3344)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52998) - you deserved it (2691)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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