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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (27819)
On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (3251)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (2672)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (9165)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (22293)
On 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm - health - by Username - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (2961)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (15532)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (6435)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (8714)
On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (3841)
On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (32574)
On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (41209)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (13862)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (21130) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (15687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 20 May 2013
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