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DntLookBack

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DntLookBack
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 875
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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DntLookBack's favorite FMLs

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56330) - you deserved it (14568)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107796) - you deserved it (8044)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I took a shower at my friend's house. The shampoo smelled really good that I asked my friend where she bought it so I could get one also. Her reply? Petco. I just washed my hair with dog shampoo. FML

#4593578
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (16549)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a shower at my friend's house. The shampoo smelled really good that I asked my friend where she bought it so I could get one also. Her reply? Petco. I just washed my hair with dog shampoo. FML

#4593578
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (16549)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a shower at my friend's house. The shampoo smelled really good that I asked my friend where she bought it so I could get one also. Her reply? Petco. I just washed my hair with dog shampoo. FML

#4593578
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (16549)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55148) - you deserved it (5058)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67039) - you deserved it (4060)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (3721)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50334) - you deserved it (3076)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90648) - you deserved it (19052)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



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