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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15956) - you deserved it (8651)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16051) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (4467)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (4317)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13549) - you deserved it (4323)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at out local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (3948)
On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19694) - you deserved it (6047)
On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (2321)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (6935)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (2117)
On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (22083)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (2764)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42960) - you deserved it (6046)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (4240)
On 06/10/2011 at 12:59am - love - by ouchmyeye (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (9089)
On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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