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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (2431)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (3274)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (17604)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5705) - you deserved it (22632)
On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (1451)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)
Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (2377)
On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1228)
On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (4288)
On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (3168)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you deserved it (2876)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (8832)
On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12381) - you deserved it (3119)
On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (5077)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (1419)
On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (2165)
On 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Rizal)
Monday 17 June 2013
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