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DizzyyDee's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
DizzyyDee's favorite FMLs
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 8:12am / United States / Love
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
by ScaryBears / 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
by jack / 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by unlucky / 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love
by juliette / 10/08/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Kids
by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…