Diz

Search for a member

Diz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1906
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Diz : Good thing my life isn't as f***ed as that.

Diz's page activity

Visits<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Ace42</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 3:06am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 2:38am<b>malakaboy</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 6:13pm

Diz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Diz's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

by lifedoessuck12 / 07/19/2009 at 10:13am / Philippines (Pasay) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2009 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

by Rainman / 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

by .... / 06/08/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

by szinna / 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

by dawg3360 / 06/07/2009 at 2:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

by Princeton / 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love