DishHeads

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DishHeads

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4804
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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DishHeads's page activity

Visits<b>alice192823</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:46pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:54pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:40pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:20pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:33pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:42am<b>MenacingMe</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:00am<b>trevieh47</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:58pm<b>jess98713</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:38pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:27pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:20pm<b>PageantGirlXOXO</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:06pm<b>jh1129</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:36am<b>jefsayed</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:20pm<b>squaregarden29</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 8:20am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 5:42am<b>Ali56</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:41am

DishHeads's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DishHeads's badges

DishHeads's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

by Grounded / 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

by life_suxxx / 12/17/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

by beckbm23 / 11/21/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2009 at 8:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 5:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

by SaMike / 08/31/2009 at 9:12pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

by mrteacher / 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML

by ParkingGuy / 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Work