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DishHeads's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
DishHeads's favorite FMLs
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
by biglady / 02/17/2011 at 2:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by maddie! / 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML
by hahahano / 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
by me / 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm / Bulgaria / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…