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DishHeads's favorite FMLs
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work
by Maddie110110 / 06/07/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
by TMI / 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work
by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by romantic84 / 05/31/2011 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by art_major / 05/25/2011 at 10:06am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by goinginsane / 05/06/2011 at 3:25am / Miscellaneous
by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML
by anonymous / 04/22/2011 at 6:50am / Transportation
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, at grad practice we were walking down the isle to our seats. As I turned into my row my foot… Today I discovered my first singular gray hair. I am 26 and I've known others to grey even earlier,… Today, I got into a car accident. A car pulled out in front of me and then stopped in the middle of…