Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Disembob

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

Disembob

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3284
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Disembob's page activity

Visits<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:46am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:53am<b>thinmintgal</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:09pm<b>mattmsk001</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>stripes97</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:41pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:32am<b>stonage81</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 10:37pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:13am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:50am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 5:08pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 9:41pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:11pm<b>judgmentalbitch</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 8:28am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:42pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 8:39pm

Disembob's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Disembob's badges

Disembob's favorite FMLs

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

#8263178
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (6867)

On 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Shirley (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5937) - you deserved it (42625)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

#8003264
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (75689)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26106)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9593) - you deserved it (99788)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

#7358643
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3905)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:37pm - misc - by Dreadge (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you deserved it (29184)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8426) - you deserved it (35729)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (6126)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

#7139398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10087) - you deserved it (23207)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:01am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (33289)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5757) - you deserved it (46188)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: