Disembob

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Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 2:04pm)

Disembob

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8712
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

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Disembob's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:04am<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:46am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:53am<b>thinmintgal</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:09pm<b>mattmsk001</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>stripes97</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:41pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:32am<b>stonage81</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 10:37pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:13am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:50am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 5:08pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 9:41pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:11pm<b>judgmentalbitch</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 8:28am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:05am

Disembob's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Disembob's badges

Disembob's favorite FMLs

Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML

by Shirley / 02/14/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

by Tucker / 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

by loveeyou. / 02/08/2010 at 3:00am / Love

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

by Mom / 02/05/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

by ke / 01/29/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

by heartbroken / 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

by Dreadge / 01/15/2010 at 2:37pm / Israel (Hefa) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2010 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

by Dontworryaboutit / 12/28/2009 at 5:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

by LaurenLehmmman / 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous