Disembob

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Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 2:04pm)

Disembob

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9457
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

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Disembob's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:04am<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:46am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:53am<b>thinmintgal</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:09pm<b>mattmsk001</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>stripes97</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:41pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:32am<b>stonage81</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 10:37pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:13am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 5:08pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 9:41pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:11pm<b>judgmentalbitch</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 8:28am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:42pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 8:39pm

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:05am

Disembob's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Disembob's badges

Disembob's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

by wtfson / 12/13/2010 at 2:35am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

by caligirl921 / 12/11/2010 at 1:00am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 1:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

by worthless / 11/09/2010 at 9:11pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

by lilmamma / 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML

by halloweensucks / 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 12:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

by H8TR / 08/26/2010 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

by Aaron / 08/26/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work