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Why am I up so early?
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Disembob's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML
by caligirl921 / 12/11/2010 at 1:00am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 1:44am / Miscellaneous
Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML
by worthless / 11/09/2010 at 9:11pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
by lilmamma / 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by halloweensucks / 10/31/2010 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 12:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by H8TR / 08/26/2010 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Aaron / 08/26/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by Joel / 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…