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Disembob

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Disembob
  • Town/Country : Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1760
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

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Disembob's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Disembob's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12027) - you deserved it (41815)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (15065)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17194) - you deserved it (61489)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9897) - you deserved it (48709)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (52181)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML

#15473081
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (22602)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (43066)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30748) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (27169)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (27169)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

#14316899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (7543)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (3370)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (22355)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)



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