Disembob

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Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 2:04pm)

Disembob

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8847
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

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Disembob's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:04am<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:46am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:53am<b>thinmintgal</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:09pm<b>mattmsk001</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>stripes97</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:41pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 12:32am<b>stonage81</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 10:37pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:13am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:50am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 5:08pm<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 9:41pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:11pm<b>judgmentalbitch</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 8:28am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:05am

Disembob's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Disembob's badges

Disembob's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

by JJAnd / 08/28/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

by Ep1cF4ce / 07/26/2011 at 12:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

by Stephanie / 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

by Stephanie / 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (California) / Health