About DiruKitty18 : Well Im Considerd in the gothic-subcultre almost my whole life. Im VERY shy and have a bunch of oh so joyful medical problems haha. Oh well I read FMLs for fun and like to comment some times. If you would like check out my youtube channel "RoseBedHorror" thanks
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Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (25803)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (2939)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (13334)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (10743)
On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (1879)
On 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm - work - by ReallyNow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (5802)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57602) - you deserved it (10130)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53326) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (2440)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (5208)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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