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Dillywillyfoo

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Dillywillyfoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1398
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dillywillyfoo's page activity

Visits<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:56am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 12:38am<b>The_Honey_Badger</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:53pm<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 2:52pm<b>RebornUnicorn</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:48am<b>Puptaku</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:49pm

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Dillywillyfoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

#20556485
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (4930)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

#20555936
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (8968)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (5679)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39735) - you deserved it (9826)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (2419)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27183) - you deserved it (6989)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (4331)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (4245)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41839) - you deserved it (15706)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34547) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (5503)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (2861)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (3246)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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