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Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jololol / 05/17/2013 at 5:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by presente13 / 05/17/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
by shameless / 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
by Cupcakes / 04/15/2013 at 1:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
by soakedga / 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
by bleach / 03/24/2013 at 1:30am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous