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Dillon000

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Dillon000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1694
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Dillon000 : Eerrrummmdidlyduuumm....dunno xp

Dillon000's page activity

Visits<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:24am<b>izztranlyn</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 1:13am

Dillon000's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Dillon000's favorite FMLs

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (3668)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (2138)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95759) - you deserved it (6378)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59140) - you deserved it (10086)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (20215)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

#16053522
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (3180)

On 05/05/2011 at 3:13am - work - by epicsandwichartist (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (4392)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (3126)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17113) - you deserved it (51431)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (5585)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (6531)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (12447)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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