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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (1250)
On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26996) - you deserved it (1676)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)
Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6583) - you deserved it (15619)
On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (2222)
On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31214) - you deserved it (1668)
On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (17894)
On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (4622)
On 10/31/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Mike (man) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27927) - you deserved it (249)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (1570)
On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4046) - you deserved it (47071)
On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (37880)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (72764)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (61651)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (3412)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - animals - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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