Dikkanen

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Dikkanen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8917
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dikkanen's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:47am

Dikkanen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dikkanen's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to make myself a nice meal. I bought expensive pasta and sauce etc. It looked delicious, I decided the finishing touch would be some parmesan cheese. I grabbed the bag and threw a handful of cheese on my meal. The cheese was about 98% mould. FML

by garlicbread / 11/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

by anonymous / 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

by FoundMyLighter / 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

by HellaBomber91 / 11/20/2009 at 8:56am / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

by screwed / 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

by Adam / 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

by squishy / 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

by whatthewhat / 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

by omgitserika / 11/18/2009 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

by not_trained_for_this / 11/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

by x0SoReckless0x / 11/16/2009 at 6:39am / United States (New York) / Kids