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Dikkanen

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Dikkanen
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 October 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2737
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

#3354281
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (34327)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

#3288999
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (5511)

On 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by Tonya (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

#3267613
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (9730)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by LoLLightning (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6236) - you deserved it (87695)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56305) - you deserved it (20811)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7351) - you deserved it (119914)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)



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